The Challenge!

The Holms have constantly sought, with some success, to control the narrative and refuse to come out, come clean, and openly, honestly engage in dialogue regarding fundamental issues relevant to their case.

In the recent rant by Danielle Holm this tactic appears evident, but I will take the opportunity to address just a few matters.

1. Danielle falsely claims that they are constantly having to redirect the discussion back to the original problem: “the theft of our baby without cause”.

Proposition for Discussion

The State of Alabama took custody of Baby Holm without cause, which taking is therefore properly characterized as theft.

– Danielle Holm: Affirm

– Robert Baty: Deny

 

2. The Brady Byrum involvement evaded! Danielle writes, in relevant part, regarding the time when visitations were terminated for 5 weeks: “…supervisor tells us because they fear us and feel unsafe around us we can’t visit until further notice. Visits taken away for 5 weeks…because the narcissistic abuser who controlled the situation wants control.”

Proposition for Discussion

The termination of visitation for 5 weeks was not the result of the letter* prepared by Brady Byrum on the Holms’ behalf and mailed to various and sundry officials.

– Danielle Holm – Affirm

– Robert Baty – Deny

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* Link to Brady Byrum letter:

http://kehvrlb.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Brady-Byrum-Baby-Holm-Letter-1.pdf

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Link to article behind graphic below:

https://medicalkidnap.com/2016/12/08/fbi-investigates-baby-kidnapped-from-couple-in-alabama-who-declined-birth-certificate-and-ssn/

A cast 710

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3. Veiled accusations against the “Understanding The Baby Holm Group”!  Danielle writes, in relevant part: “Smear campaign/stalking… Example: cars driving by, taking pictures of you, or people in parking lots or in stores taking pictures of you then posting it on a smear campaign site against you…”

Proposition for Discussion

The “Understanding The Baby Holm Case” is a “smear campaign site” against C. Clarke & Danielle Holm.

– Danielle Holm: Affirm

– Robert Baty: Deny

This and other challenges to bring C. Clarke and/or Danielle out into the light and engage in legitimate discussions regarding fundamental matters related to their child custody case will remain outstanding.

Maybe they will come out, or send out their champion to engage these important public matters.

Maybe not.

At such time as they do come out the negotiations may begin to resolve the appropriate and necessary logistical matters that will allow for a proper presentation of the exchange of ideas on the issues of mutual interest.

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https://www.facebook.com/danielle.holm.395/posts/118567678719775

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“Shared” with FaceBook & Holm permission!

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From: Danielle Holm

Date: May 19, 2017

Time: 8:30 AM MT

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Ironically Christian and I, our entire lives dealt with extreme narcissists, sociopathic and psychopath abusers in our families and other relationships. Through the adversity of dealing with them, we learned to understand their tactics in order to find ourselves within and through our pain we found love and we found God. From darkness to light.

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Throughout this process Christian has been accused of being a controlling abuser as I have been accused of being a submissive weak little homely girl. Funny thing is, Christian could not be a more loving and compassionate man to me and he is constantly lifting me up, strengthening me and making sure I am his equal at all times and nothing less. The very people that accuse us of not being the embodiment of true love in our relationship are the very people who are doing the controlling and abusing and are trying to make me a weak little submissive girl. This is the goal of narcissistic abusers, to divide and conquer.

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Throughout our experiences here in Alabama we have grown in love and we get stronger. Narcissistic abusers despise this. After reading an article of manipulation tactics used to silence victims, I realized the entire CPS system and judicial system is based on narcissistic abuse by sociopaths and psychopaths.

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These abusers engage in “behaviors” that ultimately exploit, demean, and hurt others. They use a variety of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility.

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Some of the main tactics:

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1.) Gaslighting: a very strong manipulative tactic done by master manipulators: they rip off our baby off my chest at one day old completely making up false identities of people we are not and a list of lies and then say “that didn’t happen” , “you are imagining it”, “you must have delusions of grandeur”, “what are you crazy?” “You are a delusional conspiracy theorist”.

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A manipulative person will try and convince you, your experience must be in your own mind. A couple lines we hear often, “that’s your opinion Mr. And Mrs. Holm” or, “that’s your belief”. Rather than them taking responsibility for their wrongdoings against us.

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2.) Projection: a person (or group of persons), chronically unwilling to see his/her/their own shortcomings and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable. Projection displaces responsibility of one’s negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else. It’s a digression that avoids ownership and accountability.

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Recent examples:

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People, even my own family members putting down the way I look and dress. Projection means, abusers who hate themselves, do not know themselves within, are not content within God, may project their hatred of themselves, how they look, how they dress onto another to make themselves feel better. Another example of Projection is when someone falsely accuses, makes ridiculous lies up about another, fabricates imagined events in order to kidnap someone’s child, and then says the mother and father they kidnapped the child from are the crazy ones.

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This is “blameshifting”. Their objective? It is a game to them. (That’s why social workers get bonuses and trophys at award ceremonies for how many forced adoptions they put through. It becomes a competition of who can steal and adopt out the most babies in a quarter). They win, at all costs to your family, you lose your family and you are the one blamed for everything that’s wrong with them. They kidnap your baby, then blame you and when they succeed at blaming you, they get rewarded.

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3.) Nonsensical conversations that go in circles. Conversations that go past the original root of the problem, that go off track in a milion different directions and leave you feeling extremely confused. They do this tactic to discredit, confuse, and frustrate you and distract from the main problem.

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This is happening daily. Constantly having to reshift the focus back to original problem. The theft of our baby without cause.

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Abusers: “what hoops have you not jumped through to get your child back?”
Us: ” our baby was illegally kidnapped. We’ve done no harm to anyone, we’ve done nothing wrong to our baby, we were violated, assaulted, trespassed against, coerced, converted, lied to, lied about, slandered, extorted, and our baby is falsely imprisoned.

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Abusers: “you must be crazy. Do what the say, stop being selfish. Don’t you love your son? Why are you sacrificing your son? ”

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Us: our baby was illegally kidnapped.

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Abusers blameshift and pass on guilt, so that they don’t have to feel guilt.

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4.) Blanket statements and generalizations

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Narcissists aren’t always intellectual masterminds. Many of them are intellectually lazy. Rather than taking the time to carefully consider a different perspective, they generalize anything and everything you say, making blanket statements that do not acknowledge the nuances in the conversation.

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Example: Speaking to a grand jury about a valid, unwanted, unwarranted, uasked for assault and the abusers say, ” you are aware of the Good Samaritan law right?” , overlooking the perspective of, “no means no”. OR when we say, ” our newborn was only 33 hours old and perfectly healthy. Never abused nor neglected. They took him anyway.”
Abusers say: “you must’ve had a positive drug test”. Or, “you must have done something for them to take him!”

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This form of digression exaggerates one perspective to the point where a social justice issue can become obscured:

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Examples: abusers say :

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“You still get to see your baby right?”

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Us:” he was illegally kidnapped and we see OUR son 12 hours out of 168 a week. We are missing the other 156 hours because of narcissistic abuse.

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Abusers: ” you keep complaining about CPS, do you not care about the children who are abused or neglected and need to be taken out of homes?”

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Reports of CPS abusing families are often met with the reminder by abusers that “it’s very rare and CPS saves so many abused and neglected children” , completely overlooking the abuse they have made our family endure now for 7 months.

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5.) Deliberately misrepresenting thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity. In the hands of narcissists, our different opinions, legitimate emotions and lived experiences get translated into character flaws and evidence of “un-intelligence or lack of common sense”.

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Us: “we were missionaries traveling by foot for a time as Yeshua did”.

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Abusers: “so you think it’s okay to panhandle with a baby?”

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Us: ” we didn’t say we were homeless or panhandling. You said that. We said we were traveling by foot like yeshua for a little while.

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Abusers: ” so you don’t think I’m following yeshua because I’m not walking and eating out of dumpsters?”

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Us: “we said we were traveling by foot like Yeshua. We never ate out of dumpsters nor did we panhandle. We weren’t even homeless. We were just traveling like Yeshua did. And we didn’t say you aren’t following yeshua. You are putting words in my mouth.”

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Abusers: “who do you think you are? Do you think you’re God?!”

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Us: we were only traveling by foot like Yeshua and his disciples did. Why does one have to think they are God to follow God?”

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Narcissists weave tall tales to reframe what you’re actually saying as a way to make your opinions look absurd or heinous. Popular form of diversion. They jump to conclusions based on their own triggers, rather than stepping back to evaluate the situation mindfully. They act accordingly based on their own delusions and fallacies and make no apologies for the harm they cause as a result. They put words in your mouth and depict you as having an intention or outlandish viewpoint you did not have.

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6.) Nitpicking and moving the goal posts.

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Destructive criticism with the presence of personal attack and impossible standards. These “critics” do not want to help you. They just want to nitpick, put you down and scapegoat you, any way they can. Abusive narcissists/sociopaths/psychopaths employ a logical fallacy known as “moving the goal posts”in order to ensure that each goal they put in place for you is hard to reach, if not impossible and even if you reach, another will be added, because it’s never enough. It’s not about the goal. It’s about the control through your own submission. Their goal is to be perpetually dissatisfied with you so they never have a reason to apologize and stop abusing you. This abuse makes them feel powerful.

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Example:

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Abusers: “we have reason to believe you are not who you say you are. All we need is fingerprints and if you aren’t criminals you can have your baby back”.

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Us: we give fingerprints. Prove we are Not criminals.

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Abusers: “we know now you aren’t criminals, but we dug up some more and see you were on medications in the past. Prove to us you don’t need them And you can have your baby back.”

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Us: “I put myself on medication and I took myself off and now here is a doctor saying it’s okay to be off”.

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Abusers: “now we need to see your home just in case”

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Etc….by raising expectations higher and higher each time, or switching completely the goals, highly manipulative people are able to instill in you a pervasive sense of unworthiness and of never feeling “enough”.

 

This is why so many mothers and fathers fall into depression and give up and their child is sold into slavery or sold for lots of money. Mothers and fathers don’t realize the abuse tactics they are being attacked by because overtime the abuser does such a good job at making you feel like you are the problem, even though you are not the one abusing. By pointing out irrelevant facts narcissists get to divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over the flaws they nitpick instead.

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7.) Changing the subject to evade accountability.

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Christian: “our baby was kidnapped”

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Abuser: “Do you have a job? How will you provide for your child?”

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Christian: “we never had issues with money or providing. Our baby was kidnapped illegally. ”

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Danielle: “why did you take our baby?”

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Abusers: “don’t you have common sense to not have a baby naturally? Why would you do that?”

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8.) Covert and overt threats.

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Narcissistic abusers feel very threatened when their excessive sense of entitlement, false sense of superiority and grandiose sense of self are challenged in any way. They set out to divert you from your right to have your own identity and perspective or opinion on how you want to live your life or raise your own children by attempting to instill fear in you about the consequences of disagreeing or not complying with their demands over the control of your life.
To them, any challenge results in an ultimatum and “do this or I’ll do that” becomes their motto.

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Example:

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“Let us inspect your home, car and finances or I’ll keep your baby. “
“Sign hippa releases so we can gather private information about you or you’ll go to jail”
“Do everything we say when we say or you’ll never see your son again”.

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9.) Name calling:

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Narcissists preemptively blow anything they perceive as a threat to their superiority out of proportion. In their world, only they can be right and anyone who dares to say otherwise creates injury that results in narcissistic rage.

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Christian to CPS supervisor: “when I was in high school I stood up for other kids who were bullied. I took the punches for the others so they wouldn’t get hurt and then the bully would get in trouble and the other kids would be saved. I’ll keep taking your coercion and conversion punches and hopefully others will be saved.

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Supervisor: “I’m not taking your threats Mr. Holm”

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Following day her attorney puts in a motion to stop christians visits for good because according to the supervisor who completely flipped what Christian said around to make it look like HE was a threat rather than the truth of him pointing out that her abuse was a threat, “he is posing a danger to staff and giving veiled threats saying how he punches bullies in the face.” Notice Christian saying he TOOK the punches from the bully to save others gets flipped by the abuser to he is threatening to punch the bully. He never said this, but she projects what she is doing back onto him.

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Also when our baby was one month old, we called to confirm a visit. Supervisor says, yes, come in. We come in, foster parents come in, foster parents escorted out back with baby, police show up as we are quietly sitting and waiting for visit to show up, supervisor then tells us because they fear us and feel unsafe around us we can’t visit until further notice. Visits taken away for 5 weeks, my milk dries up, baby is deprived of bonding, because the narcissistic abuser who controlled the situation wants control. She then lies to attorneys and to court, while swearing under oath saying that WE stopped visits and said we did not want to see our baby anymore.

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It’s not about them feeling unsafe. It’s not about helping families. It’s not about what’s best for our baby. We are being abused. The only thing that makes them feel unsafe, is their loss of control of us and when that is threatened they create diversions, and situations to regain control.

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Now the police supervise our visits.

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They call US dangerous.

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10.) Destructive conditioning:

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Condition you to associate happy memories with abuse/ frustration and disrespect. They do this by sabotaging goals, ruining holidays, memories, etc… may isolate you from family and make you dependent on them.

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Example: separate us from our baby, make us have to go into their building to see our own baby, our gift from God. When we ask if we can leave the room just one time with our baby and sit outside in their fenced in back yard, with our own baby they say “no”. Without cause. Never shown violence or abuse. Never would hurt our baby. Just control tactics used against our family.

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Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths do this because they wish to divert attention back to themselves. If there is anything that may threaten their control of your life, they seek to destroy it. Narcissists are pathologically envious and do not ever want anything to come between them and their influence over you. Your happiness represents everything they feel they cannot have in their emotionally shallow lives.

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Example: a woman who cannot have children and who has always grieved over a barren womb, will go to great lengths if they are not connected to the Creator, to attempt to destroy the motherhood of another. OR a woman who has made mistakes in her own life and has not yet forgiven herself and finds herself with lost custody of her own children, and is in charge of CPS, may take out her miserable life events on all other seemingly happy families which then cause destruction to her own spirit and to those lives around her.

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11.) Smear campaigns/stalking

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When abusers can’t control the way you see yourself because you know yourself from within, they start to control how others see you. A smear campaign is a pre-emptive strike to sabotage your reputation and slander your name so that you won’t have a support network to fall back on. They may even stalk you and harass you and the people you know as a way to supposedly “expose” the truth about you. This exposure acts as a way to hide their own abusive behavior while projecting it onto you.

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Example: cars driving by, taking pictures of you, or people in parking lots or in stores taking pictures of you then posting it on a smear campaign site against you, “exposing you” for who “you are”. Although, they flip the truth. A clean and normal person may be stalked and then their abusive nature makes them flip it to say they are “dirty, ugly, living in a shack, etc..”

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OR,

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CPS workers create fake profiles on Facebook and smear fabricated “facts” online, while slandering you to make them look better.

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Yes, this is happening to us.
Why?
They kidnapped our baby and don’t want anyone to know the truth.

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12.) Baiting

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By baiting you with a seemingly innocuous comment disguised as a proper one, they can begin to play with you. Abusers learn your insecurities, that interrupt your confidence and they use this knowledge mAliciously to attack you.
Baiting us with our own son, and then tell us they are “worried about our mental health” after 7 months of them baiting you with your son. They lure us into their building baiting us 3 days per week, hanging our son over our heads to get us to do as they want so they can keep their abusive control over our lives for as long as they so desire. If we do what they want, they raise goal posts so we are forever in their control. If we don’t do what they want they bait us with control of our own flesh and blood given to us by the Creator.

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13.) Boundary testing

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Keep pushing the envelope to see how much they can get away with .
Each time it gets worse and worse until it becomes violently abusive. They suck the victim back in with false promises.

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“If you do this, you’ll get your baby back in no time.” They then suck you into their way, you do what they want, you realize their promise is empty and now they have you where they want you. They then add more to it. All 4 of our attorneys did this to us and this is what they’ve done the whole time at CPS.

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14.) Shaming

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Narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths enjoy using your own wounds against you. So they will shame you about any abuse or injustice to retraumatize you. They will brag about them having the very thing you don’t to wound you more.

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Example recently: ” maybe if you did the right thing, you could have your baby back. Have a happy mother’s day this weekend, I’ll be spending it with my kids”.

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All of this equals control:

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They manufacture situations of conflict out of thin air to keep you feeling off center and off balanced.

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As mothers and fathers and grandparents and children abused by these narcissistic sociopaths and psychopaths, the best way to handle it is to understand who you are dealing with and why, so you can keep strong and understand it is them, not you that is the problem. This experience has made us realize our country is currently being taken over by psychopaths. We forgive. Will God?

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